This just came in over the news wires:
PRESS RELEASE - LONDON - April 28th 2011
Headline: Ham Actor Hit by High Speed Hirsute Hunk
Strap: Over-rated Thespian smashed against wall - Police seek bearded miscreant
Body:
(London: 28.04.2011) By Our Enterslayment Correspondent
Mostly over-rated actor, Idris Elba, was inexplicably smacked into a wall in North London today at 11:44hrs. Police are seeking a small car driven by a bearded, silver-haired and quite distinguished looking gentleman in his late 30s to aid them in their enquiries.
Film critics are also seeking the rather handsome driver to provide him with an award to actoring and that.
"Idris Elba will be remembered for one thing and one thing only", commented his agent today, "being taken out by a distinguished, greying gentleman with some aplomb."
ENDS
Oh, wait. I've had as-yet-unsubstantiated rumours that the vehicle was badly damaged by Idris's physique, but Idris himself remains unharmed. The scene is marked by an Idris Elba shaped imprint in the brick wall.
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